you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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