He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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