Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
