Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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