remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
