I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
