paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
