so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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