Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize