she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
