Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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