i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Who died my cat blue again?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
