Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
