As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
