You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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