I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
only you would photoshop your dick
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
