pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
