wanna go halves on a baby?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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