You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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