you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
