I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
