Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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