what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
