Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
