Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
