Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
