Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
