my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
