I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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