I wish life had little blips of pornography
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
