On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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