a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
