my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize