I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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