Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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