Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
