the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
