I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
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