Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
