she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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