8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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