His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
