The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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