tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
