Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
