i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
