There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
