My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My dick has a subreddit
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
