what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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