it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
