I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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