Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
