Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
