hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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