I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
