I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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