Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
