You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
