i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
