I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
