Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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