If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
