Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
