If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
