i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
